"The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight."
I know this is not inspired scripture--but it's a scriptural truth. What a precious thought...all my hopes...all my fears...all of EVERYONE'S hopes and fears...every hope and fear for all of time--met in Christ becoming man.
Conversation at one of our family-gathering Christmas meals turned to the recent death of actress Brittany Murphy (in her early 30s). Someone speculated that her death may have been caused by prescription drugs that were found in her home, and the conversation turned to how celebrities seem to achieve all they've hoped and dreamed--yet still turn to substance abuse and other vices to fill the emptiness that still gnaws at the center of their hearts.
It struck me that this is not only true of celebrities. I have all I've hoped for and dreamed about--an amazing husband who I am more in love with today than ever; healthy babies; a cozy house in a neighborhood I love; wonderful (truly wonderful) family and friends...THIS is the life that I've wanted for years. This is exactly where I wanted to be at this point in my life. I am blessed beyond measure.
And yet.
If I made it here--to all I've wanted for years--and didn't know the Lord...I would feel the same: an emptiness, gnawing, a feeling of having been deceived by our culture that happiness is within reach. "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." (Ecclesiastes 1). I DO feel that way when I drift from him, which sadly happens so easily.
This cruel world breeds fear and jealousy. I find myself looking at others who seems to have everything and wish for it too, without realizing that their smiles are often masks for pain.
But this little promise, this little reminder breaks through: "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight." Because in the end, all my hopes and fears are ultimately--if I am honest with myself--a need for the Lord: his comfort, his life, his redemption, his depth. I think happiness is somewhat flimsy, definitely fleeting. But contentment and joy can be strong, lasting, and real. Joy to the world!
PS--I don't think it's Biblical that Jesus had some sort of internal light shining from him like he is pictured above. That would, in fact, be sort of creepy. But I do like the painting.
PPS--I began this post in a somewhat euphoric Christmas eve holiday mood. Now I've returned to edit it after a few days of cooking, feasting, sugar-highs, piles of wrapping paper and empty boxes, remembering what gifts to take where (not to mention bringing extra diapers, pacis, spare outfits {just-in-case}, the ever-important camera, whatever food I've promised to contribute, and the dog--and remembering to bring the poor oft-forgotten pup home again), late nights in the car singing the ABC's to Mac way past his bedtime over Arden's screaming, insane amounts of new toys--some with 100,000 parts, trying to find cute outfits that fit my 9 week postpartum nursing self (while also trying to dress my kiddos in their holiday best and staying on top of the beast that is laundry), doing my best to make sure Mac behaves and Arden is fed, rested and clean during multiple extended family-gatherings, trying to keep my children from catching their cousin Samuel's cold (which didn't work, by the way--so now we're on the road to another ear infection I bet), all while trying to keep the true meaning of Christmas in perspective...
...on some level, my HOPE is that I will have a somewhat clean and organized house soon...my FEAR is that I won't!!!! It's as simple as that!
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